Who is to blame for my strain of bad luck...?

Yes, so far this year has been like construction workers wearing skirts and a tank top. Yes. Wtf right? Well it has been that sort of year for me...at least so far. Shit!

Before this glorious year even started, the optimistic side of me said that 2009 would be my year. It'll be a big year for me. Well little did I know that it'll be my year of frustrations and a shit load of problems. I once believed that things will happen as long as you believe that it'll happen. Believe in it all your heart and it'll materialize. Well fuck that bullshit! That ain't true at all fuckin bastard!

Okay, going to the summary of my shitty year, it all started if I'm not mistaken around the month of love. Fuckin love month! Well just to tell you guys, I won' t get into details of my fucked up ordeals, just a brief preview so to speak. So first to go down the freakin drain was my lovelife...or the lack of. Well I decided to go in for the kill, in a way, after years of just being a dude she knows. Finally mustered up the courage and guts to. And thinking that it'll be a good year for me, why the hell not right? I was dead fuckin wrong! It just did not go according to plan. Schedules were so different, it's like finding candy inside your nostril...I mean that ain't right. And when our schedules did meet up, she ended up "not going out at all." Riiiiiight. Why don't you just crap on my head, at least that I can wash off...with a lot of shampoo of course.

So there went my so called lovelife. Of course there's a lot more into that, a lot of emotional investment, but I'd rather keep that bottled up inside me until I explode into tiny people who does not know the meaning of love. Hahahaha...fuck that!

So after that dance with hell woman, I then decided to fuck up my health. Well, it's not really a decision...it's more like those if "I were more careful before then this wouldn't happen" sort of stuff. I'm sick...well it's not really those types of sickness that one would normally think of. To me it more of a nuisance than anything else. But people around me is saying that I should have it checked out. It could be serious of course but what I don't like about it is the hassle that it will bring. Well of course I did have it looked at by a doctor eventually. And you know what? They couldn't find out what's causing the fucker! Until now no one has come up with a reason for this shit. Now its just tiring. Fuckin unknown cause of sickness...fuck you.

Things seem that it could not get any worse...and I was, of course, dead fuckin wrong yet again! First my "lovelife", then health, now it's my employment. Hot fuckin damn! Damn worldwide economic crisis!

Unemployment is a bitch...a fat nagging smelly bitch. I don't like lounging around doing nothing 24/7! I'm a workaholic, at least some people say. And I guess that's true 'coz I'm sick of this nothingness. That's why I'm reduced into writing blogs that people don't read. Pathetic little bitch I've become. No offense to the other writers out there in the blog-writing world. It's not you, it's me. Hehehe.

So now I've fallen off the horse, got crapped on by that horse, stepped on the nuts, and now that "horse of life" is kicking dirt at my face. Yes now the little things decided to join the fucked up party. The car is breaking down every something days. And mind you, they're not simple matters plus the fact that I don't have any income now is pretty shitty to me. And the other day my cellphone just decided to stop functioning. Now I'm using an old phone that only lasts a day in between charges if I'm not using it that much...one call, it's dead a couple of hours after. And it doesn't have signal inside the house. Now that's real convenient when a job opportunity finally calls me up. Damn fuckin retarded phone! Fuck!

Inhale...
Exhale...

Okay, so who's to blame for this horse shit filled hole that I am in? Well it's more of a what...I blame those chain emails everyone has been sending me for the past 2 years! Yes, that's right! Those retards who invented those damn emails should be the ones stuck in this chin-deep shit hole. I mean why do that? Why create a fucked up chain email in the first place? To spread the shit? To bring a shit load of tragedy to random people who thought that this will be their year? Selfish fuckin retards!!

As you may have guessed, I did ignore the perils of those damn chain emails. I just deleted it after reading a line or two. To me it was bullshit...a load of crap...cow dung passed around like it was nothing...of course I was, yet again, so dead fuckin wrong! All that manure came crashing down on me. And that my friends, is FUCKED UP.

Now my plea to anyone who is reading this blog...if there is anyone...please help me fix this. Any witches or wizard out there? Any voodoo tricks that you may know of? I'm really out of options here. And I need to get my life back in order. So please if you guys have any smart or even stupid suggestions, let me know. Write a comment or even email me. I'd really need a helping retard.

My email: mister.negativity@yahoo.com.ph

*NOTE: If you're thinking of sending me those damn chain emails...just be a kind retard and attach email addresses to I won't have a hard time figuring out who to send it out to...because if not, I assure you, you will have the same amount of bad fuckin luck! By the power of greyskull...fuckin retards.