Have you ever been in situation where you feel that everything is caving in and there is nowhere else to go? A lose-lose situation that no matter what you fucking say, you know that you’re on the wrong end of an argument. C’mon, I’m sure everyone has been in these types of situations. The only difference is how we react to them. And how some people react annoys the hell out of me.
So here is my top three most annoying defensive tactics that people use just to not “lose” the conversation/argument.
Disclaimer: These are all gathered from MY own experience through the years of conversing with numerous kinds of people. This has no intent whatsoever to personally attack any real life person, past or present. If you get hit by a stray bullet then tough luck motherfucker, you annoy the shit out of me. This is just me writing shit about shit. Don’t take this personally, because I even don’t. So piss off…
The Cry Game
Usually the weapon of choice by the ladies, but I’ve heard stories that guys use the same lame tactic. Pathetic but true.
How it’s used:
This usually comes after a moment of silence. If arguing on the phone, there will be a hint, either a weird sigh or a sniff. If face to face, he/she would usually turn his/her back, again with a weird-ass sigh.
Now tears come flowing and by now, you can’t fucking figure out what the hell he/she is talking about. All you hear are murmurs and mumbles. Now you’re confused.
How it works:
Dazed and confused you now find yourself in an uncompromising situation. Damn, your girl/man is freaking crying! Now how the fuck can you stay pissed? Now you just feel sorry…and probably a little guilty as well.
Now you try to console and make him/her stop.
Then you hear the words “ikaw kasi eh..” which translates to “you did this…”
So now what? Now you succumb…now you fucking lose!
Now I don’t know if grown ass men and/or women still use this very tactic. As far as I’m concerned, this was evident maybe until around college. It annoyed the fuck out of me I’ll tell you that much. But I sure do hope that no one beyond 21 years old is still using this. It’s not only annoying, it’s also very pathetic.
Sarcasm + Submissiveness
Now this one is utilized mostly by dudes. I mean c’mon, isn’t this the most fun? I’m not saying that I use this…often, so I’ll just say that there were some rare occasions that I was obliged to employ this fun yet annoying tactic.
How it’s used:
On a now heated argument, Sgt. Sarcasm with a sudden outburst utters the words, “okay fine! I’ll just shut up because obviously you already know EVERYTHING!”
Or when the other party says, “Are you EVEN listening to me?!”
Reply with, “No, yeah, what? Sorry…I was too busy making sense of all this.”
And my favorite, sarcasm replied too with sarcasm.
“Yeah, that’s REAL mature of you.”
“Oh sorry about that grandma/pa…”
Oh and this one came from a sarcastic friend of mine: Argument between two jocks…
“Dude, what’s the number multiplied by zero? Yeah, that’s the same number of fucks I’d give to whatever the hell you’re saying.”
How it works:
Okay, this technique doe not really aim to win, rather just to poke fun and annoy. Or maybe even just to make matters worse, so to speak. To make the other party so ass-pissed is obviously more fun than you, yourself being ass-pissed right?
And yes, I’ve been on the butt of some clever sarcastic replies. Sometimes it just hits the right spots and I just quit the damn conversation. That is if I don’t think of another sarcastic counterpunch…wink wink. Oh that was so gay…
Anger + Intimidation
So this by far tops the most annoying defensive tactic that anyone can ever use. Usually used by guys, and yet it is gaining popularity amongst women as well. Hot-headed and short-tempered motherfuckers who think they can swing an argument by means of intimidation and/or anger-guilt trip.
How it’s used:
Armed with the eagerness to win every conversational battle, ill-tempered asswipes, as a last resort to save any ounce of pride left, proceeds with angry remarks. Usually accompanied by loud-ass voices and sometimes with guys punching a near by wall and/or table. It may also come with some threats that we all know he/she has no means to pull off…but hey, it’s still a possibility so it lingers at the back of our heads amidst the rampaging hormonic outrage.
How it works:
As tempers flare and faces grow red, the conversation is now inclining to become hostile. By this time we’re left to decide to either join in the testosterone-fueled argument or just be a meek lamb and submit to the rage. One side tells us that if engage the battle, it’ll just continue on for years to come (well not really, maybe just a few hours or so…). On the other hand, if we succumb, war ends but since it worked…he/she will highly use this technique again. Either way it’s not only annoying…it proves that logic is completely thrown out of the window once the fire of anger is set ablaze.
Oh bullies, probably the most annoying fuckers next to groin itch.
All these shit just to turn failure into success. It’s like blaming others for your unfortunate stupidity. Why can’t people just accept harsh realities in life? Why is there always a need to save face even if your face is already filled with horse manure? If the situation is already an obvious fail, just fucking accept it dumbass! Let’s not waste each others time and effort in trying to get your point in. Hey bud, by this time we both know your point is like a toupee made of grass. If you did not get that then I’m sorry, you dumb motherfucker.
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